Is your name condemning you to a low-brow existence?
Is your child’s name condemning him or her to a low-brow existence?
The last time I visited my parents’ house I made the mistake of opening the Province. On the inside cover (you know where they put the index and incredibly stupid stories no one needs to read) sure enough, there was an article about names. According to the “article” some names are considered high-end and some low-end. Apparently, when parents name their high-end parents certain names, these names then become high-end and low-end parents start using them for their low-end babies. Presumably in an attempt to make them seem high end.
One of the names mentioned was Clementine. Apparently, this is a popular name among high-end parents and thus, in a few years time the world will be littered with little Clementines. Of course, once the name is used for low-end babies, high-end parents abandon it.
So does this mean that in ten years we will see an increase in the number of Cocos and Apples in the world?
I sure hope not.
I found this very brief bit of drabble quite amusing and disturbing. The concept of high-end and low-end babies would be hilarious if it weren’t so true. Anyone who has read even a little Bourdieu knows that we are marked from infancy on either end of the high-low spectrum. Why shouldn’t our names reflect that? Actually, when you think about it, it makes perfect sense. This way, teachers, employers, society in general can look at a person’s name an immediately know what class of society they are in. So all you Leroys and Barts out there beware. You will never gain respect in this world.
If this system is to work of course, we will have to place some controls on who can name their baby what. So if you have your heart set on naming your daughter Clementine, you will have to provide proof of income, societal status etc before filling out the birth certificate. Likewise, if you are a low-end parent, you will be given a list of suitable names. Naturally there will be penalties for attempting to name your baby above his or her status.
Additionally, people will not be able to change their names to something high-brow later in life, regardless of whether or not they eventually become high-brow. This is so that everyone will know whether or not they were born high-brow or whether they moved up in life. As we know, it is better to be high-brow from birth and this distinction cannot be ignored.
It all seems kind of silly but at least to a certain extent it’s true. Your name is often the first impression people get of you and it’s usually at least second. People will make assumptions about you based on your name and some of those may well be about your social class. For example, when you hear the name Beauregard Hunter Richmond III, you probably don’t think trailer trash. Likewise, Billy Bob doesn’t drum up visions of country clubs and 5 star dining.
I’ll refrain from using a certain Shakespearean cliché but the fact is that a name isn’t just a name. It tells people a lot about who you are and where you came from and most of us didn’t have much choice in the matter. So please, think about this if you ever feel the urge to name your child Barty Hogg or Peggy Sue Hayroller.
The last time I visited my parents’ house I made the mistake of opening the Province. On the inside cover (you know where they put the index and incredibly stupid stories no one needs to read) sure enough, there was an article about names. According to the “article” some names are considered high-end and some low-end. Apparently, when parents name their high-end parents certain names, these names then become high-end and low-end parents start using them for their low-end babies. Presumably in an attempt to make them seem high end.
One of the names mentioned was Clementine. Apparently, this is a popular name among high-end parents and thus, in a few years time the world will be littered with little Clementines. Of course, once the name is used for low-end babies, high-end parents abandon it.
So does this mean that in ten years we will see an increase in the number of Cocos and Apples in the world?
I sure hope not.
I found this very brief bit of drabble quite amusing and disturbing. The concept of high-end and low-end babies would be hilarious if it weren’t so true. Anyone who has read even a little Bourdieu knows that we are marked from infancy on either end of the high-low spectrum. Why shouldn’t our names reflect that? Actually, when you think about it, it makes perfect sense. This way, teachers, employers, society in general can look at a person’s name an immediately know what class of society they are in. So all you Leroys and Barts out there beware. You will never gain respect in this world.
If this system is to work of course, we will have to place some controls on who can name their baby what. So if you have your heart set on naming your daughter Clementine, you will have to provide proof of income, societal status etc before filling out the birth certificate. Likewise, if you are a low-end parent, you will be given a list of suitable names. Naturally there will be penalties for attempting to name your baby above his or her status.
Additionally, people will not be able to change their names to something high-brow later in life, regardless of whether or not they eventually become high-brow. This is so that everyone will know whether or not they were born high-brow or whether they moved up in life. As we know, it is better to be high-brow from birth and this distinction cannot be ignored.
It all seems kind of silly but at least to a certain extent it’s true. Your name is often the first impression people get of you and it’s usually at least second. People will make assumptions about you based on your name and some of those may well be about your social class. For example, when you hear the name Beauregard Hunter Richmond III, you probably don’t think trailer trash. Likewise, Billy Bob doesn’t drum up visions of country clubs and 5 star dining.
I’ll refrain from using a certain Shakespearean cliché but the fact is that a name isn’t just a name. It tells people a lot about who you are and where you came from and most of us didn’t have much choice in the matter. So please, think about this if you ever feel the urge to name your child Barty Hogg or Peggy Sue Hayroller.
posted by Megan at 7:23 PM
3 Comments:
what about Cletus the slack jawed Yokel on the Simpsons? I mean, he's a hillbilly, but he's on the simpsons...fame in can almost lol
I got a randomly ethnic name! Yay! People don't really assume much, except that I should speak Slavo. (My Serbo Boy is telling me that lumping together the diverse group of Slavic languages -- Serbian, Russian, Romanian (okay, they don't count, but they live in that geographical region so whatever), Hungarian (yes, I know they're the freakish possibly Asian language) (wait I've fucked up my emdash thingy), y'know the other ones, LithoBugloRumanioPoliCzeckian -- aren't all the same and should be respected as diverse and unique funny sounding languages. Yeah. They are.)
Anyway, ja ne govorim LithoBugloRumanioPoliCzeckian. My mom just liked the song.
Interesting things you notice while labelling VIP invites...most VIPs have simple, easy to remember, names such as John, Vic, Dave, Ric, etc. High-end parents are like any other, lazy. They don't ever want to call out "Euchariste Cuprous von Humperdink Ivanovanovich, go to your room, you're grounded!" Which is why we're getting cutsy like Coco or Apple (poor girl will never be compatible with any of the other children). While there are definitely some high/low class names. Many are used everywhere and frankly, it is hard to say. But I do believe that a name makes a person. A lot of my personality comes from the very unique name of Murray, which made me strive for uniqueness overall.
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